Big Issue Head Office administrative errors

I forgot to mention in my last blog that last Saturday was St Patrick’s Day and that there were stalls in Covent Garden promoting Ireland. Well, let me tell you that Declan and I were living in Dublin from 1993 to 2003 (save 1997/98 when we lived in Northern Ireland, a bit of madness I know) and that Ireland is not that great: the vast majority of hospitals are run by Catholic religious orders, as are the top schools: Declan went to one and taught in another. If you agree that the Catholic church is a bastion of anti-democratic privilege then I don’t see what Ireland has to recommend except of course a nice weekend break, unpolluted air and a good drive: you can cross the country in just three hours.

Also, some of the huge land that was given to the Catholic church by previous governments is now being sold to property developers and the money (running into dozens of millions) is quietly being pocketed by the religious orders, isn’t that nice?

Last Monday morning we arrived as usual at the gates of the Sisters of Mercy-run Dellow Centre at 7.30am to do a laundry. The place opens at 9.15am, but if we don’t get there so early the chances are that we will be told that there are no washing machines left.

Anybody who is wondering what on earth we do for an hour and three quarters in the freezing cold (and sometimes rain), the answer is that Declan is reading while I am either reading or writing. We might as well be occupied – we also wear earplugs – because we always have homeless trying it on. Three Mondays ago, a queuer from about 7.45am wanted to know (very pushy) if we were alright; and two Mondays ago, about the same time, another asked me on two different occasions if I was writing poetry. Last Monday two guys arrived at 7.50am and started up some loud conversation – when will whoever sends these homeless realise that we don’t have the slightest interest?

Perhaps, he or she or they should take lessons from the Whitechapel Mission: its homeless are selected to get a rise out of us. Take yesterday morning for example (although there are many examples in this blog). At 6.35am a guy – after insisting that I tell him the obvious, which is that the third chair attached to our table isn’t occupied – sits in front of me and devoutly begins to read the Bible. When Declan returns from the washroom, he informs me that this particular homeless has been on his case in there on and off for the last six weeks or so: what a small eating area!

It is not always the wind up in the Whitechapel Mission, mind you. On 17 February Declan was twice punched in the face by a homeless guy in an unprovoked attack. On 19 February, Declan handed a statement into Bethnal Green Police Station for the attention of PC Richard Bentley, the policeman investigating the assault, just in case other homeless get the impression Declan is some sort of punching bag.

On 1 March, PC Bentley left a message on Declan’s mobile stating that as soon as he has arrested Ali – the homeless guy who punched Declan – he would contact Declan again for his formal statement. Although homeless, Ali must have some good contacts because PC Bentley has yet to phone – and we haven’t seen this Ali either.

Yesterday afternoon, Declan again emailed The Big Issue head office. There have been errors made by office staff in the registration of our pitches, which meant either one or both of us could have had a pitch given to another vendor.

I have blogged Declan’s previous two emails to the founder of The Big Issue, Dr John Bird (see titles), as well as to an outreach worker. For the record, this is the email that Declan sent to outreach manager Paul Joseph:

Subject: Pitch protection

Dear Paul

I refer to our meeting this morning regarding the protection of the pitches of my wife and myself.

I understand that: (1) the co-ordinators have been writing my wife's number (1170) and mine (1163) on the pitch listings, in addition to signing our respective pitch slips; (2) recent "office administrative errors" in the registration of our pitches cannot be rectified retrospectively; (3) to ensure our pitches are protected in the future, I should call into the Big Issue head office every Monday or Tuesday to register the pitches myself.

If I am in any way mistaken on this matter, please call me on 0779 2843167 at your earliest convenience.

Yours sincerely
Declan Heavey

And this is the reply Declan received: “That's right Declan. Hope you can continue selling without any further problems, and apologies for any errors that have exacerbated the situation. Regards, Paul Joseph.”

Yesterday afternoon, while Declan was on his way to St Martin’s for the first of his two hot meals of the week, I ran into more problems with the staff of the library Idea Store Whitechapel. I was refused access to a computer, not because all the computers were booked, but because I had exhausted my three-hour time limit; library policy a member of staff said. It’s not the first time this library has imposed a time limit on me, although for a few months now I have been booking the computers to my heart's content. This is Declan’s email yesterday evening to manager Mr Zoinul Abidin:

Subject: Computer access

Dear Mr Abidin

Further to my phone call to your office this evening, I confirm that since your email to me of 1 December my wife and I have been booking access to computers in Idea Store Whitechapel without restriction save this afternoon when my wife was told by a member of staff that she could only do so for a maximum of three hours a day. Today we have booked access to computers for a total of seven and a half hours: three hours on my card; three hours on my wife's card; followed by a further one and a half hours on my wife's card after my phone call to your office.

I note the aforementioned email from you of 1 December states the following in relation to booking a computer slot: "... if a computer is available then there is flexibility for staff to override the system and book further slots."

I would greatly appreciate if you could furnish me with a reply to the above that both my wife or I could have to hand in the event of further difficulty.

Yours sincerely
Declan Heavey

Now that I am on the subject, you would think that this library has a particular agenda of its own: a whole floor is dedicated to the Islamic religion; there is not a section, book or magazine that I have been able to find on atheism, secularism or humanism (try finding a book on sex); and it would appear that more than 90% of the staff are Muslim. And when I tried to access an obituary on the Council for Secular Humanism website for Humanist Laureate Vern Bullough, American historian and sexologist (and one of our trustees), who sadly died on 21 June, I was denied access “because it contravenes the company Web Policy.” What will they ban next?

Last, but not least, is the weather: killer cold on Sunday night, Monday night, and Tuesday night, which culminated in snow on Monday morning and Tuesday morning; and this weather is expected to continue. Declan began laughing when I told him when we got up on Monday morning that he nearly found me dead. Funny thing is today is the first day of spring.